September 13th, 2004
Kid Power
By Katy Kelly and Linda Kulman
U.S. News & World Report
Sam is not yet 2. He watches almost no TV and is taken on daily walks through the zoo, so it was not surprising when he pointed to an elephant and said, “Ella.” What was unexpected was when he pointed to his diaper and said, “Elmo.”
In Sam’s world, Elmo doesn’t live on Sesame Street. He is the cheerful furry face of Pampers, printed on the waistband, requested at every change. The quarter-size image has made Pampers Sam’s diaper of choice and Pampers purveyor Procter & Gamble very happy. If Sam’s devotion holds, his parents will buy more than $ 2,000 worth of Pampers before their son is potty trained. And, the chances are, others who love Sam will encourage that transition with the Sesame Street Potty Elmo and over time such a slew of Elmo gear that Sam’s family may feel they live on the Street.
Sam is but one of an army of tiny consumers. In the United States, children recognize logos by 18 months, according to Boston College economist Juliet Schor, and, by 2, many ask for products by brand name. Some parents report that Baby’s first word was not “mama” or “dada” but “Coke” --which makes sense considering that 26 percent of kids 2 and under have a TV in their room and the average American child sees some 40,000 commercials a year. That in turn helps explain why the United States, with 4.5 percent of the world’s population, buys 45 percent of the global toy production. American kids get an average of 70 new toys a year, calculates Schor, who surveyed 300 children for her new book, Born to Buy.
Somewhere along the way we decided that one American Girl doll or one Thomas the Tank Engine was simply not enough. But in this land of plenty, many of us are overwhelmed by our kids’ possessions. “We’re maxed out in our house,” says Eleanor Winborne Murray of Chapel Hill, N.C. The family room is the depot for her youngest child’s dolls, dollhouses, and Disney princess costumes. “We’ve been exploring the idea of adding on a room or getting rid of the garage and using it.”
New poll numbers released to U.S. News by the Center for a New American Dream, a group that promotes simplified living, show that 70 percent of parents believe kids are too focused on buying things. “It’s really gotten bad now with the commercials and peer pressure,” says Beverly Conyers of New Haven, Conn., who is helping raise her six grandchildren, ages 2 to 14. “They’re just so into things.”
Kids are big business. In 1984, children ages 4 to 12 spent $ 4.2 billion--that’s their own pocket money. This year, they’ll lay out $ 35 billion, often at stores built just for them. But it’s their hold on the family purse that’s the real economy booster. “Kids are empowered in family decision making in a historically unprecedented way,” observes Schor, who says they will influence $ 670 billion worth of parental purchases, both small (which snacks to buy) and large (which SUV) this year. By comparison, the 2005 U.S. military budget is $ 417.5 billion. “When marketers think of kids, they should think of KIDS--Keepers of Infinite Dollars,” writes children’s marketing guru James McNeal in his book The Kids Market.
What brought about such a big change in such a short time? It occurred in part because most parents are no longer home during the day. Working and perhaps single, many trade treats for togetherness. Cheaper technology and more money have also made it easier to give--and give in. And kids know what they want: Advertisers spend some $ 15 billion a year telling them what’s hot. But the biggest reason is love. Every generation believes its sons and daughters should have a larger life than the one before. More opportunities, more experiences, more stuff.
From a child’s perspective, this is life as it should be. Many experts, though, say more is actually less--that too many gifts is no gift at all. Schor’s research shows that higher consumer involvement by children can lead to depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, more psychosomatic complaints, and worse relationships with parents. Health experts say the have-it-all attitude factors into the record levels of childhood obesity. And, says Edward Hallowell, author of The Childhood Roots of Adult Happiness, “providing too much is the single biggest mistake that parents make,” helping turn out “people who go through their adult lives chronically dissatisfied.”
Certainly not everyone sees consuming as negative. “I grew up in a world where social place was well defined at birth,” says James Twitchell, author of Branded Nation. “People cared if you were Jewish or Catholic and about the tint of your skin. In this new ‘brand world,’ we make judgments about people based on their consumption. I don’t know if it’s good or bad, but it is quite liberating.”
Plenty of parents view the branding boom as a bonding experience. “Between iPods and cellphones, we’re attracted to the same things,” says Orange County, Calif., dad Dennis Bacopulos of his daughters, Amanda, 15, Ronni, 12, and Emily, 9. “Starbucks transcends all generations,” he says. “Where else can you grab 20 minutes together today?” Except the mall. “We shop as a family,” says Amanda. Dennis and his wife, Dana, see themselves as the girls’ guides. “People miss the mark by oversheltering,” Dennis says. “By giving them exposure, it puts them in a better position to make choices.” He feels shopping has turned his brood into “confident, savvy, consumer-aware young ladies.”
A cultural shift. Over the past 25 years, the national parenting style has become more flexible and less authoritarian. “Children’s opinions are solicited, and parents are responding,” says Schor. This is largely an improvement for both parent and child. But the flip side is that many parents find it hard to say no.
The pileup starts small. As a new mother, Carolyn Montie of Lincoln, Mass., was committed to owning “only a few wooden toys” --until her first child was dazzled by a Fisher-Price phone. “We thought, ‘Maybe we’ll just get one plastic toy,’ “ says Montie, who soon realized “it’s just delightful to find something and say, ‘I bet the girls would enjoy this.’ “ But the Monties quickly decided they were “getting off course,” she says. “It’s something that happens almost without noticing it.”
Adds Fresno, Calif., mother Phoebe Wall Howard: “Consumerism [in childhood] is not a natural condition. It’s created by relatives and friends giving your daughter a Roxy T-shirt and saying again and again, ‘Roxy is beautiful.’ As a parent, you are aggressively fending it off every day.”
Simply put, “there’s always a consuming opportunity,” says Schor. Fast food comes with prizes. Supermarkets hang toys at grab level for toddlers in the cart (a spot McNeal dubs “the observation post"). And birthday party goody bags are as extravagant as the gifts once were.
In spite of all this loot, it’s easy to feel we’re shortchanging our kids, especially when we skimp on time. “Parents are under so much stress that they’re trying to make up with giving,” says noted pediatrician T. Berry Brazelton.
We also buy because we can. Americans have more money--and more debt--than at any time in history. As parents’ lifestyles are upgraded, so are their children’s. Where mothers once invested in kids’ clothing classic and sturdy enough to be handed down, they now spring for fashions designed and priced to be one-season wonders. “Express yourself, and if it doesn’t work out,” says Dennis Bacopulos, “no big deal.” Deals are often part of the appeal, says Murray, who tucks daughter Eleanor, 4, into bargain-priced Sleeping Beauty sheets she got online.
Technology has also changed what--and how often--we buy. With microwaves in 92 percent of U.S. homes, kids themselves often answer the age-old question “What’s for dinner?” Nearly a third of 6- and 7-year-olds pick their own food at the store. Plus, tech’s rapid evolution makes last year’s toys so, well, last year that we replace them, along with cellphones and laptops.
As seen on TV. Kids are asking for more because they are surrounded with carefully honed messages telling them to. “We did extensive research on the psychology of the brain, how [children] perceive the world, and what their needs are,” explains Dan Acuff, president of Youth Market Systems and author of What Kids Buy and Why. Not only do more agencies specialize in kids; their impact is greater because kiddie channels, websites, and video games provide almost unlimited viewing opportunities. “Screen time has replaced playtime,” Acuff says. As Susan Linn writes in Consuming Kids: “Comparing the advertising of two or three decades ago to the commercialism that permeates our children’s world is like comparing a BB gun to a smart bomb.”
Advertising even goes to school. “It started in the ‘90s with soda-pouring contracts, fast-food deals, and the spread of Channel One,” says Eric Schlosser, author of Fast Food Nation. The daily broadcast, which mixes 10 minutes of news with two minutes of ads, airs in 40 percent of the nation’s middle and high schools. These days, companies even pay for their brands to appear in textbooks.
And while Madison Avenue once tried to impress parents ("Choosy moms choose Jif” ), a former Saatchi & Saatchi employee told Schor, advertisers are now moving “toward direct kid marketing and not even worrying about Mom. Just take her out of the equation because the nag factor is so strong.” A 2002 survey found that on average kids ages 12 to 17 ask nine times before parents give in, and more than 10 percent of 12- and 13-year-olds reported nagging parents more than 50 times for an item. “You say no to 99 percent of what your kids ask for, but you can’t say no to everything,” says Diane Levin, an education professor at Wheelock College. “The 1 percent adds up.”
It’s hard to say no because product images are everywhere. The 1984 deregulation of children’s television by the Federal Trade Commission changed the rules, allowing TV shows and toys to be developed and marketed together as a package. Within a year, nine of the top 10 bestselling toys were all tied to TV shows. “It went from toys to Band-Aids, lunchboxes, and pajamas,” says Levin. “Kids go to bed with their sheets and wake up with their breakfast cereal.” In 1990, regulators limited the number of advertising minutes during kids’ programming but left the show-toy tie intact.
Thanks to ad-skipping TiVo, product placement is becoming increasingly common. Though not permitted on children’s TV, “there are tons of product placements on shows kids watch,” says Linn. “The Gilmore Girls--beloved by preteens--eat Pop- Tarts for breakfast, and Kellogg’s is one of their sponsors.” Why does it work? The more you see anything, the more positive your reaction.
In the long run, what does it matter if kids eat Spider-Man Fruit Snacks, use Winnie-the-Pooh toothpaste, and let Kate Spade Barbie languish at the bottom of the toy box? It’s quantity that counts, say the experts. If children get all of their heart’s desires, it matters a lot. “There is an addictive dimension to consuming,” says Schor. “The more you do it, the more you have to do it. It keeps ratcheting up.” Ironically, the special memories parents aim to create are diluted with each extra. Montie noticed that after a few back-to-back treats, “my dear, darling daughter was showing signs of acting like a spoiled brat. It was this sense of entitlement.” Says Linn: “The message they’re getting is that things will make them happy.”
To the contrary. Kids in a constant state of receiving, says Hallowell, are “sitting ducks for horrible meltdowns.” Schor’s “Survey on Children, Media, and Consumer Culture” shows that kids steeped in consumerism are more likely to get depressed. “It teaches kids to measure themselves by asking, ‘How much do I have, relative to other people?’ “ she says. As one marketer told her, “We are teaching them that if you don’t have product X, you are not worthy.”
Mad as hell. Treating kids as a demographic has many parents, activists, and legislators blaming the messengers. They say that marketers prey on kids’ naivete and their need to conform. Some 85 percent of parents in the Center for a New American Dream survey think there should be more limits on advertising to children. The Children’s Advertising Review Unit was founded in 1974 to police such ads. But the Motherhood Project, which promotes activism among moms, says CARU “cannot possibly monitor all the material directed at children.” Last year, Commercial Alert, cofounded by Ralph Nader, petitioned the Federal Trade Commission for pop-up labels each time a paid product placement appears in a TV show. This winter, the American Psychological Association added its voice to that of the American Academy of Pediatrics, which is on record saying it “believes advertising directed toward children is inherently deceptive and exploits children under age 8.” The APA says that before the age of 4 or 5, kids can’t consistently distinguish between a show and a commercial and that until age 7 or 8, they’re developmentally unable to grasp advertising’s persuasive intent. When Whitney Howard, 6, heard a PBS announcer say, “If you enjoy watching Clifford, please call your parents into the room,” she called, “Mommy, you need to come right now! Please send money to Clifford.”
Dan Jaffe, executive vice president of the Association of National Advertisers, says: “We know that kids are not miniature adults. We have guidelines to make sure we are extra careful.” Moreover, Jaffe and others contend, it’s up to parents to say no. “Some of the critics act as though parents don’t exist,” he says. As Peter Reynolds, former president of toy manufacturer Brio Corp., told KidScreen: “Parents aren’t losing control; they’re giving up.”
Among youth marketers and educators participating in a Harris Poll released this spring, 72 percent say most companies put pressure on kids to grow up faster than they should.
For most people, deciding how much is enough is an ongoing process. “There’s not an absolute answer,” says Betsy Taylor, founder of the Center for a New American Dream. “I don’t think you want to completely deprive your child. If you did, you’d probably be creating a monster.”
Sally Manesiotis of Hilton Head Island, S.C., says, “I give an inch.” Still, her son Mikie, 13, starts off a conversation saying, “Mom, I know you’re going to say no,” and often he’s right. “It is so hard to say no. There are times I wake up where I think I don’t want to do this again,” she says. But rules like TV and Nintendo only on weekends and limiting purchases keep her family close. Besides, she says, “if you have everything at the age of 9, 10, 11, 12, what’s there to look forward to in life?” The Monties set limits, too. Their kids, 6 and 8, don’t eat sugared cereal, borrow books from the library, and spend playtime doing crafts, playing dress-up, and, since Helen plans to be a rock star, listening to Sheryl Crow.
Says Howard, “We don’t ever preach that stuff is bad,” but when friends give Whitney makeup, “I throw it away secretly and never bring it up again.”
Of course, saying yes once in a while won’t cause the ill effects Schor reports. Amanda Bacopulos, 15, calls her Coach purse her “prize possession” and says, “I have always wanted to get married in a Vera Wang dress.” But hers is not a case of stuff spoiling the child. A cheerleader, Amanda is enthusiastic. Like her sisters, her manners and her grades are excellent. She likes her parents. And shopping, she says, boosts her self-esteem. “If I’ve had a good shopping day, I feel kind of beautiful.”
As for Sam, he went to the supermarket last week. He scooted up the aisles, spotting Spider-Man and Shrek boxes for the first time. Though he had no idea what they contained, he claimed, “I need it. I need it.” At the fish counter, he had but one word to say: “Nemo.”